01
about me
The first book
A Joke I Didn't Write
I’m a writer from South Florida. The usual joke in my social media bios is “Florida Man Writes Novels,” because in the age of social media shortening attention spans, you’d have to be about as crazy as the Florida Man to think writing novels is a good use of one’s time. This website is my little corner of the internet. Welcome. Please wipe your feet and leave your shoes by the door, I just got done mopping.
The Ballad of Abigail Lambert is my debut novel. You can grab the full book as a PDF by hitting the blue button up there. Why give away for free an entire book I spent years writing & am currently selling both digital and physical copies of? Somehow, I didn’t piece any of that together until just now. You know what? Don’t click that button. Click anywhere but that button. I’m gonna go now so I can find my Web-Guy and ask him to get rid of that button but while I’m gone, just don’t click on it, okay?
A sex ed teacher stands at the front of the class holding a banana. He says “Children, today I’m gonna teach you how to put on a condom and I brought this banana cause I can’t get a hard-on on an empty stomach.”